Scribbles Away the Past~

A long long Hiatus

2009-10-12T11:23:00.002+08:00

Have been neglecting this blog for a long long time.

much has happened and i survived.

Battling thru life huddles izzin really my forte, but we din really have much of a choice do we.

Work has always been pretty much the same. this year, i din really do a good job, to be honest. Feel like taking a break and go study for a year or two.

Love izzin really on my side. Still recovering from deep wound, never felt more painful. Putting tat aside, moving on.

Taken up a certification course in multimedia at NAFA. not bad, but very tiring especially when you have to work and study at the same time.

much has happened and much more is about to happen. looking for new job and all. the future dun seem very bright to me now.. but i'm gonna try my best, i hope.

Not going to update this blog for a long long time. until then, goodbye everyone.

I Need Mac Book Pro....

2009-07-20T07:31:00.000+08:00

Went out with for a printer hunt with my friends.

Overspent and now i need to suffer the consequences.

Planning really cut down on my expenses for the next few weeks, till Sept.

Limited to $30 each week, tat will be $120 a month. Plus $100 bill, $100 transport. $250 for insurance...

So much money.... can only save $630 a month...

How to raise 2.5k in 2 months time?

Somebody HELP ME!!!!

It Works! ! !

2009-07-19T09:25:00.000+08:00

It finally worked!

after the gruesome hours of troubleshooting and researching, i still have no idea wat went wrong. lost a very long entry that i wanted to post.

This will teach me to test every single applications before I start using it for any purpose.

Anyway, just wanna thank everyone who visited my humble lil blog space.

Now for some quick updates,

Work is more hectic now, 20hrs of lessons every week, leaving me hardly any time to lunch or rest.

Lots of adapting needed with new principal, new colleagues and new work area. H1N1 does contribute to the already stressful situation in the school.

At least, i'm still surviving.

Met someone that has made a turning point in my life,

taken up Certification in Multimedia @ NAFA, a 6 month course.

Lesson has began and i'm still very excited abt it.

Now I have found new bearing in my life and a goal to strive for, to become a Creative, a designer.

With this in mind, I have also fallen in love with Macbook Pro...

I hope to get one in Sept, which I believe will aim me greatly in my future as a Creative. Aiming to get into La salle in 2 years time, Degree in Multimedia Design.

Well, enough of me blabbering.

Wish all my fans and friends a Great Sunday ahead.

It's been long my dear friends...

2009-07-19T07:13:00.000+08:00

Greetings to all my friends and fans out there.

It's been long since i blogged.

realised that i have lots of ppl reading my blog, especially my kids in sch.

So, let's begin with some updates.

I have just started on my Certificate in Multimedia course this month. Pretty excited abt it. Learning new skills and tips from the pros themself.

Learning is a never-ending process in our lives, the only difference is, how useful will it be to us.

Hope to take up a designing degree in La salle in 2 years time.

Working is still hectic or even more then before.

20hrs of lessons a week has left me breathless everyday. still trying to adapt to the new long hours for this term.

Many new problems and adapting issues with the recent events such as H1N1, new principal, new colleagues and new workspace.

Moved to Garage as I do not wan to cause any commotion in the Staff room. I can get very crazy and loud most of the time.

The change in the new working environment made me realised that I have lots of stuffs since I came to the sch.

I think my co-worker, Aril, is shocked to see my place so messy and stuffs lying all over. Can't blame a creative for having a messy style rite. =P

Over this period of depress and low self-esteem, I met someone who have changed my life.

I found new bearing to my life's directions and path. To become a designer, to become a Creative.

I also fell in love with Mac and i plan to get one for myself, to equip myself for my new goal in life.

now trying to get used to the Mac interface, so i loan one to tryout.

My verdict? It's cool. The design is fabulous. This machine is indeed designed for better user experience.

Not really gd for the students, cos of price and compatibility issues with school computers, which requires the kids to possess a certain level of tech-savyness to overcome; a qualty that my students do not have.

Hope i can own a mac by Sept this year.

Well, there is still much to be done.

Enjoy the rest of ur weekends everyone.

Gd nite.

Using Contribute on Mac

2009-07-19T00:58:00.001+08:00

It's been long since I blogged.

Haven really have time to blog and record.

It's surprising to see that many of my students in school have actually read my blog. mayb it's time, depending on whether this program, Contribute CS3, acutally works with this blog account.

will blog more if this works out.

Long neglected Blog

2009-03-27T10:06:00.001+08:00

So sorry to my fans out there. have not been updating due to the long hours that i have been spending in school doing nonsense staff, trying to escape from reality.

My brother recently "disowned" me. reason being that, he doesn't love me as much a brother would, and thus our brotherhood dissolved.

heartbroken and beaten, i could only drag myself each day to work, trying to move on. know that i should not be down and all, words of encouragement izzin helping. No longer i can say that i'm proud to have u as my brother, a part of me died along with our brotherhood. This incident have further concluded my prediction to my own life and destiny. The lone wolf shall continue with his life walking, with the full moon as his only companion.

Time to get back to work.

May all of you peeps out there live a better life then me.

The calling…. from SAF

2009-01-10T18:05:00.001+08:00

received a letter from the army today. It was regarding my reservice unit and date.

I’m officially assigned to 740GDS. For a moment, my hopes of not getting involved in army was trashed, but yet that feeling was very short lived. Soon I was logging on to the NSportal and getting ready for the ICT.

Kinda early, but still, i need to get updated and prepare for wat’s coming. Since i can’t change it, might as well get ready for it, to live through it at the best i can.

New Year New stories…

Many changes to come.

In need of rest.

2008-12-03T10:04:00.002+08:00

suffering from aching biceps, deprived of sleep, plenty of work to be completed.

Planning to take a break from all this.

Mayb i should go on a short holiday at malaysia.

visit my relatives.

Mayb...

Yesterday was rushing report like mad, but din manage to finish, only finished the framework.

den brought Wei Chang to the school gym.

Well, it's his 1st time in the school's gym, he pretty much wanna try everything.

Gd thing i learnt a thing or two from books and previous gym-ing sessions.

Taught him a game i learnt from Alex, it's called the "bell press" i think.

He seem to enjoy it. we'r starting real slow, letting him build up strength.

Hmm, will plan a simple routine for him and gonna learn more fun games from Alex and Amos to teach WeiChang. hahaha..

Den rushed to my main office for an promotion interview.

Gonna skip the details. Let just say that i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

After that I went to Orchard to meet up with Alex to sign up for gym membership.

Visited my brother at the SGB booth.

He happens to be on duty on Orchard Main Box.

Finally met Jaryl for dinner at Sakae Sushi. We ate to our tummy's content.

Yum.

We also had Cup Walker's Bubble tea. Wow, their Hazelnut Chocolate milk tea is OMG GOOD!

Very explosive. Power~!

Finishing my reports now.

Gonna go on a half day off later.

Going home 1st for a nap den accompany my lil brother, Benedict, to beach road.

Rush Hour

2008-12-02T11:05:00.002+08:00

came back from a extremely long meeting.

left with 3 hours to finish my reports.

this is a mad rush.

Got plenty of lesson plans to finish also.

Need to finish a 20min video clip for 51st coy also, deadline is near.

need to discuss course plans with external vendor ASAP.

many things to do, so lil time.

all last min.

I love my job.

Slack

2008-12-01T08:53:00.003+08:00

In School now, planning to go the gym later.

Went to Sim Lim to buy a 2gb RAM for my pathetic laptop. hopefully after this upgrade, i can do my video editing on the laptop instead of my computer.

Den went to SITEX to make a quick purchase on a bunch of software tutorials.

Pretty boring.

Went home without dinner. famished, had cravings for western, so i went hunting for western food stalls. Sadly, the nice ones close before 11pm.

Today's plan would be to finish my bi-monthly report for my dreaded company.

Dun really feel like doing it, but no choice.

Lost

2008-11-27T22:22:00.003+08:00

So many things happened.
So many things to blog abt.
So lost for words.
Love life - a Mess.
Work life - too lazy to do anything abt it.
Family life - spending too lil time at home.
Personal life - I wanna slp...

so that pretty much concludes all that has happened recently.
kinda long to write everything here, probably will bore most of whosoever that reads this blog.
dun even know if anybody reads it anymore.
the skin is kinda old.
the entries are boring, pretty much like my life.
the whole thing is pretty much a failure, like myself.

That's all for today.
should start to blog more often...

Screwed up life..

2008-11-23T00:47:00.001+08:00

Why does my life have to be in such a mess?
it's painful.
to think that this will never happen to me, but it has..
I can't stop thinking abt u, yet i can't let her down..
it's so complicated, yet it seems so easy.
a part of me tells me to end this quickly, get it over and done with, hurting one party now will be better den everyone suffer.
while another part of me tells me that i cannot hurt her anymore. enough is enough, i have hurt her enough. I'm so trapped..
i can't let go of both of u...
I'm really not a good man. please, both of u, stay far away from me...
i'll only hurt both of u...
I dun want to....

help...

In need of a break...

2008-11-21T01:13:00.002+08:00

work work work.
Have been making new friends to widen my social circle.
Really haven been doing my work...
lots of things have piled up..
must be the holiday season..
need to really take a break from the world.
need to go somewhere without the city, without technology, without humans, without sins...
so tired with the life that i'm having...
seviourly abused by people in the school.
I'm only getting 1500, and i'm working 2 people job.
I mean i can help u as a favour, but if u take me for granted, den u will be in deep shit.
Gotta learn to reject...

got these feelings again..
somebody kept coming into my mind..
and I start to mind how she thinks abt me..
I'm afraid that i'm falling into the deadly trap of love again..
But rite now i know i can't give her happiness, yet i wanna hold onto her..
the selfishness of man..
Gotta stop all these...
Self control...

To that somebody:
I can't stop myself thinking of u.
I can't help but wonder if ur ok every now and then.
I can't stop wondering how u feel about me.

Latest Bubble Tea Craze!!!!

2008-10-13T10:19:00.001+08:00

It's been a long while after the bubble tea craze in singapore has died down.
But just over the weekend, a brand new flavor and trend is born!

Presenting the BUBBLE TEA CURD~

Made from ordinary milk tea, which is left over the weekend, and corn-starch pearls, topped with chemically treated syrup to add a fruity twist to the drink. This brand new drink is sure to keep you occupied at home or in the hospital for weeks. The perfect way to spend your school holidays.

The creator of this wonderful drink is none other than Mr Elkan from Christ Church Secondary School. Last friday, he accidentally left his honeydew bubble tea, unopened, in the office and went home. By Monday when he came back to office and Tada~ he found Bubble tea curd!
And that's how this amazing drink was discovered.

end...

New monitor

2008-10-11T20:50:00.002+08:00

It's been long since I blogged.
was working on lots of things lately.
Students, tuition, projects, competition and counselling.
so life is like really packed for me..
getting a long real fine with the teachers quite well.
so are rather close, while the others are just fine.
I think one of the teachers, dun really like me.
Mayb i'm too close to the other female teachers...
Haiz.. can't really please everyone...
mayb i should just stay away from all of them.

anyway, i just gt a 22" LCD monitor for myself.
It's real BIG i tell u.
and very bright too.. kinda glaring.

Well, over and out for now.

2008-08-04T20:20:00.002+08:00

the only pleasent thing that i encounter today is to see that a student actually downloaded my artwork from the internet and used it as his hp wallpaper.
Now that's really being honored.

lousy day in school

2008-07-09T18:13:00.002+08:00

was like so totally late for school today.
there was like an whole army of kids queuing for 901.
I'm like almost fainted. Well, i took it easy, God's Word kept me company.
Reached school just when it started to rain, really have to thank God for keeping the raining from raiding on me.
Well, lessons aren't that bad. only the computers are getting on my nerves.
Imagine that my photoshop hangs halfway while i'm teaching. I had to like restart my com and load the whole program and stuff.
Good thing God was with me, Praise to Him for helping me through the lesson.
Teaching without visual for a few minutes. I tell you, those few minutes were long.
Then finally it's over. went to buy lunch, happy happy go buy some toileties while waiting for my fried rice, den a teacher called.
Well, she just wanted me to help set up the VGA cable in one of the labs for a english course.
Well, it gets better.. I pick up my food, head back to school, and as i reach the my office and put down my food, i gotta go open another lab so that the NE teacher can go in and prepare for the NE lesson.
So i went to open the lab, den went to set up the cable and stuff, and when i'm done, i need to pick up a postit sample and go for NE lesson duty.
By the time i have time to grab a bite from my Lunch, which by the way have been sitting there for 2 hrs, is cold...
How horrible can a day get?
Well, at least now I'm at home.
Praise the Lord my Father, who blessed my with a day so busy and fun. at least, i did something...
Amen.

Step by step we get closer

2008-07-08T22:40:00.002+08:00

finished my run just in time for CSI.
darn, I really need to improve my leg's strength and stamina.
I want the power to run again and to do that, the only way is to train and keep running.
It's just there and all i have to do is to keep running.

The goals that we have, likewise, we need to keep running towards them to reach them. but of course, we also have to commit our goals and desires to the Lord our Father.

Life of a teacher

2008-07-08T18:38:00.002+08:00

1st day in my life, i finally felt like a teacher.
Lessons all the way till 1240, den solved a few computer problem [real minor ones], den do some mudane form making, submit notes for printing and end of story.
ok, that's pretty much like a teacher except for the problem solving part.

Lesson wise... boring..
the sec 1s are very manageable, and so are the sec 3s, except for 3E1.
really a turn off when teaching them.
show no interest, needless to say, respect.
seriously, for those who aren't interested, pls leave or at the very least, keep quite. There's people in the class who wants to learn.
Pls, unless ur more pro than me, u better shuddup man.
anyway, they aren't anyhing to be stressed about, so I'm chilling.

Maybe gonna go for a run. Haven done that properly for a very long time.
Never had to really practice. Speed was alway part of me, but I want more.
I want stamina, endurance, the ability to sprint for long distance.
that power... I want.

Starting to pick up guitar on my own.
learning slowly.
ok, not so slowly...
kinda rushing to pick up at least a new song.
Maybe can ask Amos for the chords. Maybe.
Gonna pick up so i can play in worship, fellowship or any kind of ships.
not gonna lose to some brats that i know of. Mhuahhaha.

Friend that loved more than a brother and women

2008-07-07T23:08:00.002+08:00

In 1 Samuel, the bible told and shown me how much Jonathan and David loved each other.
The love of 2 righteous men, their love was pure and holy to each other.
In the days of the past, whatever King commanded, it was absolute. Yet, Jonathan took the risk of seriously upsetting his father, Saul the king of Israel, and help David escaped.
When they parted, I believed it was very painful. Surely, they must have longed to spend more time with each other, surely they must have hope that they will one day meet again.
When Jonathan died, David mourned and sang,

"I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women."
- 2 Samuel 1:26

Will I be able to speak of such love for you, my little brother?
Will I be able hear you call me brother ever again?
I hope I will. I hope we will have a chance to fellowship in the Lord again.
I hope that you be able to read this and share the same thought as well.
Leaving it to God our Father.

May the Lord's Peace be with you who read this post.

sorrow came knocking on my door

2008-07-07T18:37:00.003+08:00

It's youth day.
school izzin open.
woke up at 12pm. It's been long since the last time i did tat.
many things on my mind. many things undone.
did a bit of things here and a bit of things there.
nothing was completed.
need to focus.
Need joy.
want to search for it.
but dunno where to find it.
Got my PDL.
Something is draining away my life.
what is it?
grief? sorrow? I do not know.
how do i leave it to God?
I do not know.
Going through shit?
I think so.
Mayb i'm going mad.
Mayb i am.

Looking for Joy

2008-07-07T00:15:00.002+08:00

Many a times i screw up God's wonderful work and His maverlous plan.
Too many confusing thoughts and the devil and his demons are working hard, whispering doubts and lies into my heart.
Need to focus.
Need to let go.
Need to love God.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strenght.
I have to learn.
To love God before anybody.

2008-06-10T12:48:00.002+08:00

no more hugs, no more gd mornings, more gd nites.
Suddenly you are so cold.
it's not your fault.
Only mine to blame.

Have i become too attached to you?
Have i grown to dependent on your company?
Maybe i have, that's why i'm feeling like that.
do you feel the same as i am?
or do you have better things to do?
Maybe you do, that's why you seem like so.

Who can i share my feelings with, only those who read my blog i guess.
Who can i really confine and find comfort?
In God I trust.
He tells me," Billy, if u wan to embrace the one you love again, you need to let go your ties."
"Follow me and you will find your loved ones again."
My Lord calls for me to abandon my life.
It's a painful decision and I do not know what will become of us.
But Jesus has to come 1st in my life.
Jesus has to take control.

Bak from Camp

2008-06-08T07:34:00.002+08:00

Came bak from camp yesterday.
din enjoy the camp.
as usual, became the man behind the scene taking photos of others enjoying.
came bak and wrote a letter of resignation to the officers.
yes, I'm leaving 51st.
for a few months, for a few years or for good, I do not know.
All i know is that all this is part of God's plan.
It was part of God's plan that I torn apart my relationship with my brother.
Torn apart seems to strong a word, more like a suspension or stand still.
Until we can stand together and be comfortable in each other's presence in whatever situation, can we really call each other brothers.
I saw it coming, visually.
Seems like a joke for God, but it's not.
It's a wake up call.
Not for him, but for me.
Slowly, it has come clear to me that my spiritual gift might be premonition.
It's painful. Very painful.
as if my heart is bleeding.
I miss all the hugs and gd nite.
I miss "Nite bro. *hug", "take care", "morning bro. *hug" and "*poke".
one nite, and it hurts so much already.

This is happening because I rely on you too much.
~fin

Birthdays, gatherings, being emo

2008-06-04T15:12:00.002+08:00

Today's Qi sheng's birthday.
As usual, i'll call and sing him a birthday song. That's me, my way of giving a surprize to my beloved friends.
It's been long since we last met. So long ago.
I have always wanted to set up an alumni for the company, yet there seem to be little interest from the eX-boys.
No "Yay"s, No "Woo Hoo"s..
Just a cold "anything" kinda reply.
I can't do it alone.
Kinda sad. Feeling kinda lonely. Having that lil moody moments as if the world has stop spinning and all things ard me has come to a stand still.
It's tat kind of nostalgic feeling, where everything turns yellow like the late afternoon sun and your just tired and listless..
Kinda enjoying this sad and moody moment as if I'm the main character of a tragic love story.
lol
K, gotta cheer up. Else ChuanYi and Benedict will be worried.
=)
Happy Birthday Qisheng.

Stuck On the Track

2008-06-04T08:48:00.002+08:00

The train that I boarded broke down at Sembawang Station.
Just a stop away from where I boarded, darn.
As the train was completely stuck and couldn't move on its' own, we had to wait for the next train to "push" us.
After 30mins of patient waiting, we'r finally released from our confinement.
But things dun end there.
the passengers from next train had to alight as their train needs to drag our train off the track.
1st time in my life, I saw an "army" of people "stationing at the platform, wow.
when the next available train arrived, 70% of the people desperately squeezed into the train.
What's the point of doing that, i think to myself. we'r late anyway, and the next train will arrive in a couple of mins, so might as well wait for awhile.
I like my personal space.
and so that's how my morning began, arriving at school at 8.50 with a ridiculous excuse.
"My train broke down"
hahaha, sound like "My dog ate my homework".
anyway, gotta go back to work.

Wonder how much fine is SMRT going to get for the break down...

Past reviewed

2008-06-01T22:41:00.002+08:00

Stumble upon my past entries.
Saw the promises that I gave to myself and God.
Looking at now and my past, I have failed as a son of God.
Failed as a Brother to Benedict, Nicholas, ChuanYi, Manfred and many more.
Everytime I said I want to go into secludion for a period, I can't and I din.
Many promises to fulfil.
Many Goals to hit.
Many tasks to complete.
Many people to catch up with.
One God to Love.

Life's a mess.
It's abt time I do a "spring Cleaning for my life, goals, dreams and tots.

~Fin

Need to worker smarter and take back my time

2008-05-27T08:08:00.012+08:00

3 months working in Christ Church Sec, haven really know all the teachers yet and i meant names.
Work isn't smooth at all.
All attention being given to students and teachers and lack of time for myself, my brother, my family, my beloved Boys and most importantly God.
Drifting further away from the peace that He promised.
Moving further away from the light.
Straying away from his way.
There is a need to reject people, It's time I'm stop being "customer" oriented.
It's time to learn.
Time to fight for my rights.

Depression hits again?

2008-05-25T20:21:00.002+08:00

Yes, it's been long since i blogged.
The on a trip to batam yesterday with the teachers of Christ Church Secondary School.
1st: God arranged the events in such that there is no parade for the 51st and i can go on the trip in peace.
2nd: the trip was delayed and the Go-cart was canceled, and thus i saved some money.
3rd: God sent rain and the boring culture dance performance was canceled as well.
4th: There was nothing to buy from the Batam shopping mall. Saved money.
5th: The whole trip made me realized 1 thing, no matter how much I try to be nice and put on a smile, there will still be "people" who dun smile at you. These people can only be addressed as colleagues and nothing else.
Andy asked me if i'm attending church, and commented that i should be able to find a girlfriend in church ground. I understand what he meant.
He was shocked to hear that the church does not have cell-group or similar grouping system like that to bring people of the same age group together.
Unhappy tots clouds my mind and my whole world starts to collapse.
Suddenly I feel so left out and alone.
Grieves and regrets swarmed in my heart.

Where has the friendly and helpful wei lin gone? [my chinese name, used when I was in my primary sch years]
What happened to the energetic and garang Billy? [ the christian name chose to I gave myself due to many reasons]
Isn't Elkan suppose to devote himself to God and follow closely in Him Way? [the Hebrew name that I gave myself to symbolize the new me in Christ. It meant Belonging to God]

Shouldn't be grieving over not being born into a Christian family.
Shouldn't be grieving over not attending Sunday School as a child.
Shouldn't be grieving over not being able to mix with the people in church.
I know I shouldn't be, but I am.
I dun have friends, it seems...
Family seems so cold and meaning less.
Home is like a word in the dictionary that I can hardly apply in my daily life.

everything just seems to be spiralling down the drain..
Everything seems so heavy.
even watching anime is so boring and a chore.
What's worse is tat seeing others excel, it seems like there is no hope in my future.
I'm lagging behind and i can't catch up.
I couldn't breath...

It's been long...

2008-05-05T09:52:00.003+08:00

It's been long since i have properly blogged. taking this chance to post an entry while I'm preparing to teach and bring the blogging culture to my residential school, Christ Church Secondary in Woodlands...
It's 2 months since i'm here. coming to a term soon, students here can be quite irritating and annoying and has total disregards for the teachers. What's happening to our society? What's becoming of the students nowadays.
Students talk back, shout and verbally abuse the teachers.
Gone are the times when teachers walk in and students will greet the teachers at the class monitor's command.
Gone are the time when the students stop and greet the teachers as they approach.
Gone are the time when the teacher can concentrate on teaching the students while they pay attention to the elders teach and explain.

So what happened?
Teachers have to "wrestle" with managing the students and control the noise level.
Teachers are also put at risk of being sued for abuse and "blacklisted" if they ever do physically "touch" the students.
Are the younger generation too protected?
Are they too "spoilt" by the government and their family?
Too deep an issue to discuss
Too wide an issue to put a conclusion
Many factors involved
Many parties affected
Time to get going
Lots of work to do
Lots of tasks to think about
Plenty to follow up
In a Love Hate relationship with my job

Fin~

Truth or Lies.

2008-03-25T12:54:00.002+08:00

All this while I have been told that i have to be baptized to join the BOTC, Basic Officer Training Course.
All these years, I have been a lowly OTC, Officer Cadet Trainee, a not recognised 1.
Not recognized by HQ, not acknowledged by the officers in church. ALONE...
A surge in me asked me to call HQ to ask about it today, and to my horror...
How is it that i can survive on such an environment for such a long time...
How does it feel to be fighting all odds and only to discover that what you have been fighting for all these years only to discover that all these turned out to be a mistake, or what's worse, a lie...
Was it a mistake? Was it a Lie? Was it a misunderstanding?
I do not know...
I do not want to know...
I only know that rite now my heart greives...
Tears seems to be welling out of my eyes...
I want to cry out loud, but something seems to e stuck at my throat...
If it was a lie, God allowed it?
If it was a misunderstanding, God allowed it?
If it was a mistake, God allowed it?
Was it of the flesh or spirit?
Always go back to the source, only the source holds the truth. Humans are not trust worthy, not anymore...
I can't think properly now...
How much do I have to suffer under the hands of people who call themselves Christians, People who call themselves BROTHERS IN CHRIST?

Incomplete Reunion Dinner

2008-02-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

Despite the heavy snow and unforgiving weather, many chineses in China hope to go bak home to their love ones to part-take in the lunar new year eve reunion dinner.
It's a chinese custom/tradition for the family members to return home to have a meal together as a complete family, like thanks-giving dinner celebrated by most westerners.
Of course, there will be people who can't be bothered of these customs, while some can't go back home due to work or study commitments.
The pain of not having a meal with your family, and loved ones is tremendous.
The unspeakable sadness, the feeling of loneliness in a foreign land.

But all this will pass away cause you know that eventually your family will be waiting and looking forward for you to come bak.

The worse people are not those who dun bother abt reunion dinner. It's those who chooses to have the dinner with other relatives over you.
It wasn't a situation without choice that they can't return, they chose not to.
Such people is simply just saying that you are not part of "my" family, you're not that important.

Angry and sadden by that man's action. I'm not going to sink any further than those feelings, I'm not going to spoil the mood of this Festive season. I want to be happy, and face this with cheerfulness. I'll look up at the blue sky and smile.

Not walking alone

2008-01-18T15:48:00.000+08:00

It's a long time since I really posted something positive.
Hahaha...
Well, God is very graceful to me.
He has been providing me lil bits of income bit by bit when i needed them the most.
A few ppl return me money here, claim back a bit of money there, earn a bit here, scrimp a bit there. That's the life that He want's me to experience.
Prayed for a Job, clueless of wat to look for, I prayed to Him.
Now i've finally got a job tat is prefect for me.
It's not gonna be easy, there will be trouble and difficulties, but with and by His will I'll be alrite.

Vengeances

2008-01-01T20:36:00.000+08:00

When one is cursed, two Graves are dug.
A saying from the popular anime in japan.
Yet how true it is.
In the world of Withcraft and Sourcery, What goes around comes around.
How foolish humans can be even knowing that hatred and vengeance will come back and haunt them, bringing forth more miseries.
How can one free himself from such a vicious trap and cycle?
How can one find peace in such a chaotic world and time?
Time and time again I wanted to leave this wretched world and go to heaven.
Many a time, i wanted to commit suicide to end the pain and suffering.
Burdened and tormented by others and myself, guilt and depression strangles me.
Duties and desires chained me down.
I want to be free.
I want to be loved.
I want a family.
I want to find God.
I want to end the war within me, the war between the holy spirit and the demon within me.
I'm not shameful to confess that I know of the demons and the devil personally.
I know their works and their plans.
I'm their strongest weapon against God, against Jesus Christ.
That is how sinful I am.

Too many cooks spoils the broth

2007-12-07T10:44:00.000+08:00

Currently in SGB, watching over those lil rascals spending time for the community.
The planning izzin very well executed out by the boys, not because of their incompetence but the officers and the in-charge's.
Too many ppl being activated to handle a certain task.
Too many ppl slacking ard.
In simple terms, Great power not fully used.
Haiz..
I'm gonna just sit one corner and stay in observer status.
Chaotic enough, dun wanna make matter worse.
Camping out here...

just a house.

2007-12-01T13:25:00.000+08:00

U din asked wat happened?
All u did was smile, the 1 that u always do.
It wasn't the smile of kindness, it was the way u laugh at ppl.
All u said was that i dun have time anymore when others tell me to take my time.
All u cared abt is money, not me.
All u cared abt is when can i find a job, so that u dun have to provide for me.
U din care if i liked that job.
U said it's my future, u pretended to care.
But u don't.
ever since i was born, u din care.
all u cared abt was urself.
all u did was pretend u cared.
u wan me out of ur life dun u.

Given up, Bak to the drawing board.

2007-11-22T20:29:00.000+08:00

Working is TTSH izzin workin' out. seriously.
NIE still has no reply, not gonna wait any more.
Resigned from TTSH, Monday is my last day.
No plans yet.
Taking things one at a time.
Focusing on getting my bike license 1st.
Time to end this.
Its about time I become a full fledge Rider.
Then after that is my driver's license, save money for my bike, den get a car from my dad.
Doubt that's gonna happen, he never fulfil his promises.
maybe get a cheap 2nd hand MPV or SUV.
bigger is better, like a family.

Ending before i could start.

2007-11-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

Yet another day @ work in TTSH.
Busy busy busy.
patients moving in like crazy bees attracted to the sweet smell of honey..
the clerks here are very helpful, a bit too helpful.
helpful to the point of messy. too many cooks spoils the broth.
haizz.
today is only the 6th day at work, but the manager told me that they have enough people here already, will be transferring me to another clinic.
haiz.. just when i'm getting used to this place..
anyway, i might just quit.
BB seems to need my attention more..
CHoices..
NIE application still no reply.. dun even know if i should go look for a prem job.
haiz.

fin
scribbles

Old, dirty and worn out rubber...

2007-11-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

Tired. Very tired..
Physically, mentally and spritually.
Not getting much sleep.
Not getting much support.
I need rest.. a rest from the world.
away from technology, away from city..
Mayb i should spend sometime at the beach..
Mayb i should go bak to malaysia for a while..
Mayb i should be alone..
Wait, i'm already alone..
burdened by much issues.
Past.
Present.
Future.
My Own issues.
Other people's issues.
I guess nobody bothers anymore.

Ought to sleep now.
Nobody reads this...
cause if they do, they ought would have known, instead of asking "r u ok?" or "wat happened?"

fin~
scribbles

easier said than done

2007-11-08T13:35:00.000+08:00

It's getting harder and harder to keep my rage in control.
Keeping myself in emotional state doesn't seem to help anymore...
Not knowing when i'll snap, i fear that i might hurt the people i care and love for.
Benedict thinks that i'm being emo, cause i'm emo..
Sadly, that what most people think of me...
They know me not...
not well enough to understand the rage and hatred and deep grudge that i have for humans.
Last night, i lost control for a while...
A long time since i lost control...
Nobody listens.. everyone jumps to conclusion and quick to give advice...
Death seems to be a much easier way out then facing this Raging demon that's sealed within me..
Everybody wants to be happy, likewise for me cause i'm human too.
Living seems to be more of a burden than happiness.
I want to see the Lord, i want to be in heaven with God, I want to go back home.
Using depression to suppress rage.. that's my way for control, but rage seems to getting stronger and stronger.
Maybe letting go is the solution.
Easier said than done.

fin
-Scribbles.EL-

Friends. Love them, Hate them, yearn to have, rather not have.

2007-10-25T22:20:00.000+08:00

That's a long title i knw.
as the recent events that unfolds in and ard my life have sorta enlighten me.
I thank God for showing me the signs and visions.
As the recent posts shows that i hav regrets of my childhood due to the lack of friends. Self pity? Mayb.
Recently i came to knw that a friend of mine have permanently ended his friendship with another.
I realised that while some yearns for somebody to be friends with them, some actually wished that they had not known each other at all.
Is friendship really that weak? Too tired to ponder over it now.
Just wanna finish this entry.

Another thing...
I'm so ashame of myself.
God have blessed me with the gift to sense other ppl's feelings, yet I did not put my gift to gd use and all i did was whine abt my past..
While my lil brother is sending out signs of depress and disappointment, calling out for somebody to talk to, i'm there too occupied with my stupid past and failed to realise his need and cry.
I'm such a disgrace and let God down..
Putting my sad unworthy past aside, starting anew, looking out for my lil brother.
Less of me, More of others and Everything for God.
How much of the statement can I fulfil?
I do not know, but I'm gonna try.

dedicating this song, Graduation by Vitamin C, to Benedict and his classmates.
Also to friends who are still friends and friends who are no longer friends.

-fin

If only time can be turned backed...

2007-10-19T22:01:00.001+08:00

When lil brother tells me of his outing to sentosa today, of wat happened and all, I can help but feel depressed and jealous.
Not envious, but jealous.
Born not with gd looks, cute features, I eventually became an OUTCAST of the class.
when u put a below average looks with a not so bright brain along with a not so educated family in a class filled with smartys and well to do family, u will get a OUTCAST.
being INVITED to an outing or just to hangout by classmates only happens in my dream and can be considered a luxury, let along going to sentosa with friends.
I know you might think that, " hey but now ur all grown up and u have friends don't u. u can go with ur friends now."
Yes, i know. But it can never cover that large empty hole in my past.
the empty hole that is suppose to be filled with happy memories and friends.
I have been alway outside the picture...
I guess I will always be...

Guardian, a cursed destiny, a worthless past.

2007-10-19T18:34:00.000+08:00

Guardian. a term so noble, a term tat sounds heroic.
To me, it's a term that means cursed fate and destiny.
It's a term that bring forth sadness.

Guardian is a word for a guard, a protector.
Someone who guards, watches over, or protects.
But to someone like me, it's a different meaning.
I'm a Guardian.
not referring to a normal Guardian, but one that have destined to be one.
Upbringing, family situations, environment that we grew up in, has forced us to become one that is called Guardian.
Life without Childhood, memories that is not worth recalling, growing up protecting others all the time, loving others all the time.

Wind and I found each other in our secondary sch years.
Thinking that it was just a make-believe story, we stop searching for the other "siblings" as time past.
Nobody to confide to, only to let people ard us confide to.
always one who provide comfort to others, and noone else can comfort us.
i'm glad that Wind is ard, at least we can confide to each other.
Cursed is our lives, living a life with only sorrows...
-Water-

empty

2007-10-19T01:18:00.000+08:00

empty.
friendless.
lonely.
forget it.
fake.
i want to say go away, but my heart wants u to stay.
tired.
i want a real hug.
not text.
i want a cuddle.
a real physical cuddle.
dun feel like living anymore.
so empty here.
empty and cold.

Lost..

2007-10-10T14:39:00.001+08:00

Nellie's grandmother just passed away.
My deepest condolences to you Nel.
She was admitted to the hospital abt a week ago.
i went to visit her a few days ago.
she looks so much better yet now she has suddenly left us.
At that point of time, i should have preached to her the gospel.
Blame it on my lazyness and inability to preach..
Now we have completely lost her...
I have not been fulfilling my basic duty as a child of God.
I can only say that i'm a disgrace to God the Father.

-scribbles.EL-

Weird Encounters

2007-10-10T02:49:00.000+08:00

Have u ever met a total stranger who gave u the feelings that u have met before?
The kind of feeling that tells u to go talk to him/her.
The feeling of knowing her already even though the both of u have only met for the 1st time.
Well, i'm not saying i have met such a person, just wondering.
But do have fallen in love before i must say.
The urge to see him/her. Always thinking of that person with no logical reason.
The name just keeps popping up in ur mind that its annoying yet blissed.
A totally different feeling than the one i described.
I think the 1st would be called "Love at 1st Sight".
The other would be "Gradually Fallen in Love".
Wat ever is the case, Romance is out of my life for awhile, putting it aside so i can concentrate.
Putting all my effort to understand the true meaning of love and to truly love people instead of being responsible.
Well, some mind food to chew on, do u love your parents or are u just being responsible as a son? Will u "love" them if they are not ur parents?
=)

-scribbles.EL-

Shutting Up.

2007-10-02T00:41:00.000+08:00

I'm just gonna keep My Bloody mouth SHUT.

Titleless Title

2007-09-30T13:55:00.000+08:00

Ahh~ It has been ages since i updated my blog.
Yup i'm guilty of being lazy. Resigned from TRU, i have been spending my time at home sleeping and playing online game and i must say, life is real tough.
Putting all the games issues behind, i also have to deal with my weight issue, arguments with girlfriendS [must emphases on the S for plural form], household chores, taking care of the old and sickly, taking care of a family of 7 izzin easy i tell u.

Okay okay, i'm not attached, let alone girlfriends. there izzin any old and sickly at home, and i do minor chores so that izzin a big deal. comon, a family of 7, i wish. weight problem? the only weight problem i have is not having enough. So i'm pretty much carefree..

But to be truthful, i dun like that. being unproductive and slacking is so not my style. relax yes, but i'm always looking for something to do.
So while waiting for NIE to start, i'm taking up guitar and photoshop. I'm also visiting the library more often, reading on teaching techniques and tips.
Gonna start learning driving and get my Class 3.

Well at least there's plans.

-scribbles.EL-

1 step made = 1 step closer

2007-09-17T13:23:00.000+08:00

life izzin fun without work.
Lots of time... Too much free time...
Lots of distractions... Too much distractions...
Excuses... all those excuses...
Every time i tell myself that i need to start walking, carry on with my career and life and the walk with God, the war starts inside of me.
the struggle of control over my life between the Holy Ghost and my SELF.
i haven been walking closely with God lately.
the effects? World, Self and Devil wins most of the battles within me.
the WSD trio have made my life empty and trying to render it useless.
if they succeed, they will be able to create a MAD [Mass Area Damage]in God's work.
cannot... let WSD... *urgh* win... Must re..sist... *urgh*... Mu..st O..pen B..ib..le..
see, that's how tough the actually battle is.
the action is 1 thing, but WSD will create lots of distraction to take away ur attention.
that's all for today.. distractions...
By the way, have been messing with my psp, hacking and customising.
Looking for Lumines and GTA Liberty City UMD[unpatched version].

-scribbles.EL-

Man Without Love

2007-09-01T02:34:00.000+08:00

A long absents of entries lately even though I had plenty of time.
It have been a week since I resigned from Toys'r'us.
Though i have plenty of time, but yet time seems to fly so fast for me.
It's Sept already, BB work seems to be piling up...
Its like a never ending load of work and admin stuff to do.
NYAA, the awards, the NCO council, the squad system and the noticeboard.
on top of that, my future as a teacher.
So tired yet i cannot rest, like a zombie...
Thx God for giving me strength to carry on walking.

Staying at home made me see lots of things.
My mum despise me.
Well, she should. I'm not even capable of supporting myself at the age of 24.
I'm not like Gabriels who have stable jobs, unlike Jisam whose doing degree in the States, not like Dhana whose gonna be a future doctor, not capable of bringing money home for the parents like all my other peers. All i can do is stay at home, eat and sleep, No help at all. Yes, she has every reason to despise and feel ashame of such a worthless son. Useless, and unchanged is what she sees in her own flesh and blood.

My Dad thinks i'm stupid, a retart, a useless fool.
Always make decisions that doesn't benefit the family.
Always going out, wasting money.
At age of 24 still need to depend on him.
Yes, comparing me to him, he is a lot more capable.
Leaving home at the age of 16, going to a country strange to him, started from stratch and now a business man.
He is so capable that he can flirt with his "other woman" over the phone in front of me. Mayb he thinks that i dun know what going on, that he is flirting.
Haven't he learnt from his previous affair? yes, "previous".
the very affair that got him on the run, the very affair that got him to come back home in fear. He even showed the naked photos of that woman to my mother.
What a joke.
People say that the child is the result of the love of 2 parents.
He have 2, jean and me.
So why does he still do such a thing?
Mayb he doesn't love my mother anymore.
Mayb my mother is just a machine to carry on the family line.
what a joke to think that he will change after my mother forgive him.
no longer i can cry because of this man's doing. I'm not sad, just disappointed.
I'm not sad because i have such a father, i'm not sad because i have such a mother, I'm just disapointed that they think i'm a fool.
Why am i not sad? shouldn't i be sad that my father betrayed my mother again?
I'm not sad, just pity my mother.
Maybe I too, like him, have no love.
If he has love, he shouldn't do such a thing to my mother.
Mayb he have too much love u say. No, i'm sure that is not possible.
Cause love is to protect and give and be fair, not to cause harm and sadness.
If loving somebody can hurt another person, that is not love. That is lust.
Hahaha, wat a joke.

You will only be a father, not a dad.
My dad don't exist at all.
I dun hate u, cause ur not worth it.
Neither do i despise u, cause i will be coming like u.
All i can do is to pray that 1 day, just 1 day, that u will realise wat is love and wat have u done that u might repent and turn to look for salvation.
Hope u repent soon, cause time is running out.

"I will died before u, but i will see u die before me."
-scribbles.EL-

Walking. Keep walking...

2007-08-27T00:48:00.000+08:00

Saturday was my last day working in Toysrus.
Current plans will be a short break. now i'm deciding between getting a ept or enroll 1st.
i think i'll be enrolling 1st.
also gonna register as a relief teacher.

have been watching the anime: D.Grayman.
Nice show, also provided me with a great plot for my story that i stop writing sometime ago.

things are falling in place, slowly and nicely.
i need to cast all my fears away and put my worries on God, let him handle my application..
=P

-scribbles.EL-

The Final Break

2007-08-23T04:58:00.000+08:00

Finally a nice break after so many days of continuous days of working, like wat Uncle Andrew said, he wans a break for a bit too. Hahaha, guess i'm too much of a workaholic.
for the past 2 months, i have been busy with both BB and work @ Toys'r'us, so much so that i dun have time for myself.
Well, actually i do, but it's after midnight.. =(
so I decided to resign from my job @ Toys'r'us, and have a little break before i start working as a teacher.
Yes, finally a career. After years of planning and waiting, the ambition is no long a dream but becoming a reality.
No more will i need to imagine how it feels like anymore, now i can really taste wat it's like to be a teacher. Whee~

Ok, enough of my ambition and work life.
my Wed is completely wasted due to the lack of sleep recently [din sleep on tue], went to the embassy early morning to renounce my citizenship and it took me like 3 hours queuing and waiting just for a 10min procedure. oh well, at least it's done now.
den came home, cooked noodles, watch animes on crunchy, lastly got wasted by 4pm..
had a long rest [4pm till 4am], now i think i'm sleepy again. yawn..

Recently, got myself FF7 on PSP. boy i'm delighted. It's really an 0_o! experience..
it made the wait at the embassy not so torturous.
Den i also arranged a gathering with my "poly" friends this sun~ Whee..
Finally a decent gathering with them. they hav been complaining of how i neglected them and how i'm distanting from them. People i needa work to earn a living u know.

next i also searched for nachos cheese recipe online and discover that nachos is a name of the founder and nachos cheese is a style of food..
Wow!
Thx to wiki.
Gonna try out the recipe~
Time to do some shopping. Tortillas, here i come! XD

Btw, it's the 7th month on the chinese calender, which is also the infamous Ghost Month, so ppl get out there and watch the "getai" or the chinese opera if u see 1 and remember, the front 2 rows is reserved for "VIPs" only. =P

-scribbles.EL-

The Light!

2007-08-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

I got B3 for my chinese! yea!
So happy, la la la~
I got B3 for chinese, la la la~
Now I can become teacher, la la la~
Apply to teach in primary school, la la la~
earn money to support myself, la la la~

Wee~

-scribbles.EL-

The Long Wait...

2007-08-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

Kk, so sorry to keep my beloved fans waiting for my blog entry.
1st, i need to thank all those who remembered my birthdate and those who spent their precious time with me on my birthdate, and also those who wished me Happy Birthday.
A BIG THANK YOU to u!

On 8th, SiangWei bought me a SPIDERSAPIEN for my birthday present!!!
Thx Fang!

Lately, work have slowly taking tow on my body.
Late nites, carrying of goods and long duration of standing has worsen my knee's condition. Plus all those soccer training...
Praises to God Almighty that He has been Protecting me from serious injuries and gave me strength to run and carry stuffs.
SiangWei kept teasing me that I dun need to slp de, just change batteries can le.
Well, his partially right.
God have been very doting me, not only did He gave me a job and money for daily needs, blessed me with plenty of great friends and family.
The Holy Spirit has also given me a present, teaching me that God will provide and He wants us to commit every single relationships, burdens, worries, confusions, time and all that u have to Him.

God also gave me a wonderful brother too.
Had a wonderful time together on 10th, went to J8 1st to grab a bit of snack, den wondered a bit. reached Suntec, went searching for lunching location. all so "high - class" and so is their prices. Kk, no complains, it's suntec leh, wat u expect? $2.50 chicken rice ah?
ok, we couldn't decide yet, so we went to buy movie tickets 1st.
Finally used the free passes i received for being the best soldier of the month.
we missed the 1.40 show time and 2.10 has just started, so it's either movie now lunch later or the other way ard. I chose the latter. hungry.
went back to deciding on wat to eat and decided on Carl's Jr, big serving and cheaper den buffet. spent the next hr eating and chatting... Great way of bonding.
went to watch Rush Hour 3 and the show started on the dot, whew, we almost missed the start of the show.
after movie, it's time to head to church for the BBQ event. sadly, due to the fact tat we got a bit lost at suntec, and the show ended like 5pm sharp, i dun have enough time to send Ben to church and reach novena in time for work. only able to accompany him to the train station.

though it was for a short while, I enjoyed it and was glad tat God gave us this time together. ought to bring him out more. =)

den that very day not only i missed the BBQ, i also had to work till 3am!
Hahahaha! Thank God that He provided me with energy and strength for the work to be done.

This morning, i went to JiSam's place to see him off.
the last time to see him till mayb next year Dec ba.
Bon voyage and Take care my friend.
remember to e-mail me when u got ur new lappy k.
Playing with the idea for visiting him in the States when i have the money to travel to the States.

Gonna receive my O-lvls chinese results soon. In the morning..
soon..
the future will be set soon.
the light, i can see the light at the end of the tunnel...

-scribbles.EL-

PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY

2007-08-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

work up late.
Ah! the sinful self wants to sleep somemore, the Holy spirit wans me to go for the worship.
War between Gd and evil Broke out.
just when the sinful self was abt to win with its' tricky lies, the Holy Spirit said,"God Will Provide, Go."
In matter of mins, i was out of the house, rushing to bethesda hall to worship God and Lord Jesus.
The Holy Spirit has won.
After churching, went to PS to meet Jisam, Darmen, Gerade, Pei Loon and Delwyn.
Went to the Glass House for Lunch.
I ordered a black pepper stingray.
after lunch, we went to Carrierfour to do some last min shopping with Jisam.
Den they left for home while i went to meet up with the Boys to hunt for soccer boots.
PS din have much choices, so we went back to AMK to carry on our hunt.
had prata for dinner. Gave the Boys a small treat. Manfred "God will Provide."
Chong kit bought a pair of nice soccer boots.
Manfred and Nick got budget restrictions, thus they hav to wait..

Oh did i mention that I found My favourite Band, Seven Places, latest album in the local christian store! AH!

PRAISE the LORD! AH!
God Have Provided me not just my living needs, but also my desires to His Good Works!
Praise the Lord for He has provided me not only money for food, but also money to listen to the wonderful work of his people!
Praise the Lord for He has given my surprises upon surprises!
Praise the Lord for He has told me wat i ought to do now.
Praise the Lord for He has guide me with His Words and the holy Spirit tat i'm able to share my JOY with them.

-scribbles.EL-

Wonderful Lord, Wonderful God.

2007-08-05T02:00:00.000+08:00

Went for Soccer training in the morning.
Nth much except for fun.
Den met my younger brother, den went to Bishan to change the t-shirt size.
Also bought another piece of t-shirt from the same Store.
"A Blood Donor Saved Me"
the Blood donor refers to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Den lunch at coffee shop near sch b4 he goes to sch for NDP rehearsel.
den rush to work, was late again. =P
Dino, Sam and "Mrs Lee" came to visit me at work!
Ah wat a surprise!
Dino's feet are all bandaged up due to a bad case of foot-rot.
too bad i can't chat with them too much, duty calls.
Wat's MORE surprising is tat they waited till I knock off!
Jeremy CAME TOO! AH!!!
I AM SO HAPPY!
went to have supper at balestire.
Bak Kut Teh.
Not bad but a bit too much pepper.
Jeremy din seem to enjoy the supper.
guess he dun like bak kut teh, or rather din find it special in anyway.
I noticed that its hard to find Hokkien ver of the Bak Kut Teh, mostly Teochew ver.
after supper, that basically ended the day.

Thx for spending time with me Dino, Sam, Germaine and Jeremy.
Thx for spending time with me Benedict.
Thx for the presents Jean, Dino, Sam, Germaine, Jeremy, JiSam.

I THANK GOD FOR BRINGING MY FRIENDS TO VISIT ME.
I THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME THE TIME TO SPEND WITH MY FRIENDS.
I THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME THE TIME TO SPEND WITH MY BROTHER.
I THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME SO MUCH JOY.
I THANK GOD FOR PROVIDING ME MY NEEDS AND MORE THAT I DESERVE.
I THANK GOD FOR KEEPING ME ALIVE AND KEEPING ME IN HIS MIGHTY HANDS.
I THANK GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH WONDERFUL FRIENDS!
I THANK GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH A WONDERFUL FAMILY!
I THANK GOD FOR BLESSING ME WITH A WONDERFUL BROTHER!

Have Faith in God. For He Knowest Our Needs and Will Provides.

-scribbles.EL-

Best Present ever and will be forever.

2007-08-03T17:51:00.000+08:00

Went out to J8 with Jisam today.
got myself a great t-shirt.

I loved it. Jisam offered to get me another, but i refused.
I know i should "gladly receive", but i'm contented that he accompanied me to buy this t-shirt.
simple joy.
So far, the best present that i have received is from somebody that loves me very much, God.
He gave me His Son, Jesus Christ.

He gave me family.

He gave me friends i can turn to.

He gave me Life.

I wanna thank God for keeping me alive, and giving me so much that i have today.
I wanna thank God that i'm still a lot more fortunate than most ppl.
I also wanna thank all my friends, whether u remembered my birthday or not, a BIG THANK YOU! and a BIG BEAR HUG to ALL OF YOU.

-scribbles.EL-

Birthday Wishes

2007-08-03T01:51:00.000+08:00

"Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday to me~
Happy Birthday to me."

Yes, today is my birthday. Some know and remember, some wanna know but i dun tell them, and some knows but forgot.
Well, Thx for well wishings. =)
So, wat do i want for my birthday?
Hmm, it's not that hard actually.
a simple Christian T-shirt will do.

or if u wanna be real generous, u can buy me a Robosapien,

RoboQuad

or the Spidersapien

, which is on 42% off at toyrus.
With or without present, life still goes on, earth still spins, i'm still alive.
Presents aren't that important to me. Wat matter most is that you, my friends, remembers my birthday.
A simple birthday song over the song will make my day. Really.
No need for big dinners, presents, hang outs. Just a simple phone call is wat i need.
=)

So, if u haven made that call, or msg...
YOU BETTER PICK UP THAT PHONE OF YOURS AND CALL ME NOW!

=P

-scribbles.EL-

Walking alone in the rain back home.

2007-07-27T14:07:00.000+08:00

As i waited for the bus to come, i wondered wat would it be like to walk u home in the rain. brought along a spare umbrella just in case u din bring.
in my mind, images of us walking together in the rain, side by side, gives me much comfort.

Little do we have the chance to walk back home in the rain, chatting away abt anything under the sun.

The bus finally came, it was pretty late alrdy, i start to worry if i'll miss u, hav u made ur way home alrdy. but i let God, our Heavenly Dad, decide if we should meet today.
i alighted, i look across the street, wondering if u have left for home.
it was still raining, i walked to the school hoping i'll meet u.

In the sch, there's so many ppl. clueless of where to start, i left to God our Father to decide how we should meet.
Finally, we met.
I hand to u wat belongs to u. i wanted to walk u home, but sadly, u have other things u wanna do.
i said ok.
as i leave the sch gate, i felt so alone.

Why? i asked myself. I kept telling myself that u have a life of ur own, that u need ur own space. I must have expecting too much. but still it was a moment alone in the rain all by myself, nobody but myself.
Dun worry, i'm fine, u did nothing wrong. it was my fault to be expecting so much from u. haha, silly old me.
just need a bit of time to ajust my feeling and think properly.
Will hav plenty of chances to walk together in the rain.

I'm alright, my little brother, i'm alright. =)

A relationship built on God the Father and Jesus our Brother as our foundation, we will support and encourage each other.

-scribbles.EL-

Finally got the ball rolling...

2007-07-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

Went to parade today, gave an intro and expectation of the LDC.
Got the boys to do target test. Assignned the Council jobs and wat they need to fulfil as members of the Council and their individual tasks.
Finally the Council is starting to work out and starts to form an independance on their own. My aim is to get the Council to function as a team, a family that can function without the help and interference of the Officers.
A Council that can teach and hand over to the next generation without the officers taking over again.

The ball is rolling, let's keep it rolling together.

-scribbles.EL-

Approved and Not approved.

2007-07-23T22:31:00.000+08:00

Received a letter from the Government.
Its from the Immigration Authorities.
Must be regarding my application for Singapore citizenship.
As i opened the letter, the TV played this years National Day Theme song.
I read at fast as possible, anxious of the outcome of my application.
My application for Singapore citizen have been approved.
Feelings? I don't know. It's mixed i guess. i guess only jisam knows how i feel.
Anyways, i saw this particular document that i need to bring..
Cert. of Baptism.
Being an Impatient Dweeb, i went to "test water".
I told my mum, i wanna be baptize and i wanna invite her to my baptism ceremony.
She said no.
Haiz. I'll have to wait. God wans us to be patient as he train us to persever, to be a better testimony for Him.
Wait lor.
=P

-scribbles.EL-

Cried.

2007-07-22T16:00:00.000+08:00

Watched Extreme makeover home edition today a second part to the previous episode.
The story goes on as the family was given an extra day of vacation and the team have another 24hrs to complete the house.
i actually cried, twice some more..
once with tears of sadness when they played the recorded call from the police when the guy was shot and another with tears of joy as the family came back to their brand new home, shocked and touched.
the team even got the young couple a wedding ring and a WEDDING. It that cool or wat!
God Bless this family. =)

-scribbles.EL-

No one said its gonna be easy.

2007-07-22T13:45:00.000+08:00

I want to be like Christ, therefore i wanna be baptized.
I prayed and God the Spirit tells me to wait.
I will obey.
God wants me to reconcile with my family 1st.
I will obey.
God tells me to be patient.
I will obey.
I will do watever He tells me.

As Uncle Koon Soo was teaching us on "Knowing Your Salvation", he mentioned abt Spiritually Dead and Spiritually Alive.
At this point of time, it came to me, a punchline - Spiritual CPR.
We Christians are spiritually alive, and it's our duty to perform spiritual CPR on those spiritually dead.
So, what does spiritual CPR means?
C = Christ
P = Professing
R = Resuscitation

Hmm, kinda cute. HAHA.
and it's a neat saying, dun u agree?

-scribbles.EL-

Reaching Out. My Heart Bleeds.

2007-07-22T01:05:00.000+08:00

Shocks after shocks.
Impacts after impacts.
Nobody says its easy. in fact God tells us that there will be long-sufferings as His children. Mayb I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but my sight have became clearer, my heart will become stronger. For after perseverance comes strength. Overcome and there will be reward. Though my heart bleeds now, I do not wan to give up. Though people turn their back on me, I will persevere and continue to pursue.
I want to be diligent in your work, and I'll, so that I can see them in Heaven, showered by your Love, Warmth and Grace.
Keeping my beloved friends in my prayers, I'll be diligent.

A quote for Kenneth, as promised. Sorry that it izzin just on homosexuality, but as a whole.

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

2Timothy 3:1-9

A day at the Home.

2007-07-21T15:31:00.000+08:00

So, I'm at Ken's place now. using his highly infected com too blog..
Let's just hope nothing happens to my acct.
Yes, finally the visit to the children home is over.
Overall an enjoyable trip, the boys' performance was not bad, at least our props are more nicely done.
And so the story goes, we sang. We performed. We played with the kids there.
Apparently, kids will always be kids. violence is always the boys favorite theme.
Our "weapons" and Cardboard van was turned into shreds of useless papers by the end of the day.
Today's trip left me with much tots and sadness.
The kids there, unlike other normal kids, are very protective and keeps to themselve, not very responsive yet hyperactive.
Well after the performance and stuff, during games, the kids there start to open up to us. well, that's where i discovered that the kids enjoys even the simplest pleasure. bringing joy to the kids there is very enjoyable, though there's a need to scarifice a bit, like standing under a tree , risking being hit by the ball.
It's even more heart warming yet saddening when one of the kids as me, " Will you be coming back to visit us again?"
My heart sank. Speechless, i could only just smile at him...

-scribbles.EL-

Idol or just a cartoon?

2007-07-20T02:39:00.000+08:00

Working in Toyrus can be quite enlightning as there are lots of incident u can see as a bystander which can really get u thinking..
today, as i was arranging the Girls section, i was reminded of parents trying to draw their children's attention to this toy of this much popular cartoon character, Dora.
So, wat's so speacial abt this Mexican girl who carries a purple talking backpack, tagged along by a talking monkey , doing nothing all day but exploring a world that's weird and awfully too colourful for adults.
With this much abnormal issues presented in the show, the parents still sort of encourages the kid to "idolise" the very much unsound character, cause she literally talks to a monkey, a bagpack, a weasel and many other animals and items. So girls, or rather children are being introduce and encouraged to learn from these characters, yet years ago, ppl make a big "Hoo Haa" abt harry potter might let kids think that they are wizards and stuff like that. izzin it funny? ppl rather their kids to talk to monkeys den to behave like a kid in a wizard sch.
If harry potter was really that bad, i think the parents gotta worry abt kids acting like superman, attempting to create and consume "Chemical X" to acquire superpowers, or start grabbing the laudray pole and shouting "cow-a-bun-ga". even watching normal serial drama might put ur kids at risk of wanting to marry the gal sitting in his class [a kid at age of 5-9], or attempting suicide cause the parents refuse to buy the latest power ranger toys.
But hey, look on the bright side. who knows, ur child might become very smart criminal, outsmarting the police and getting away with every crime he does.
He might not died from the deadly spider's venom and become spiderman, or at least hav more eyes then normal ppl.
So..
There izzin much we can do izzit..
=P
so much for the tots at work...

-scribbles.EL-

Pay And Pay. Show Me the Monay!

2007-07-19T12:24:00.000+08:00

Finally settled the problems that's bothering me for some time.
Deferred the CPF repayment thingy, mayb can ask my dad to waive the loan from his CPF acct, but mayb not, i'll see how 1st.
Den went to confirm my application of Singapore Citizenship. According to my calculation, I should receive the letter of the outcome of my application by Aug, My month.
I should receive my Chinese O-lvls results in Aug too, my month.
finally gonna receive my full salary in Aug too, my month.
Singapore National Day on the coming 9th, my month.
Boys gonna preform at NDP, my month.
Jisam's gonna leave for the States in Aug, my month...
So much that's gonna happen in Aug, so much anticipations...
I'm still waiting for answer whether if i should go for baptism now...
I ought to pray more abt it.
Will i pass my chinese O-lvls in Aug?
Will i celebrate NDP this year as a Singaporean this Aug?
Will i be baptised this Aug?

Can't wait for Aug to come, my month.

-scribbles.EL-

For Wat? Wat For? Faith? or Blind Faith?

2007-07-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

So, today i went badminton-ing with jisam, probably for the last time, cause he's leaving for the States to study for 3 years..
*sob* Hey Jisam, we must have a meal together b4 u fly k!

Anyways, after that, we had a simple lunch together, den we went home.
i den spent 20mins to shower, pack, "dress up" and leave for parade.
Reached sch just in time.
so, everything in short, we rehearsed for the visit to the children's home and did some drills and other stuffs that izzin really important now.
there's a new teacher in charge assigned to us. hopw he's up to the job.
we really need a "all out to get the boys" teacher who izzin afraid to dish out A-Forms. Will be praying for him. Hope he will be saved too.
=)
after saying so much, i discovered that i have not said the main point of today's topic of discussion. ok, uncle andrew was sharing with the boys abt this monk who brought back a tooth which was believed to belong to a great monk, and managed to raised money to build a grand temple to house this tooth. the issue is that, this tooth is believed to be a fake, cause it dun look like a human tooth, more like a bull's.
Then, uncle andrew also mentioned abt Lord Jesus's tome.
It's empty. In simple terms, Jesus is still alive, He died and resurrected from the dead and now alive, living.
So, the question is, do u wanna worship 1 that is alive, sinless and almightly or 1 that is dead and whose body can be decomposed, destoryed and turn to dust.
the choice is yours my dear readers.

In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them," Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen! Remember how He told you, while He was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' Luke 24:5-7

-scribbles.EL-

Broke and limitations

2007-07-16T23:59:00.000+08:00

Okay, so my fav band has finally released their 3rd album, Glowing.
Sadly, as much as i wanna get that album, i dun have the cash to purchase it online.
i refuse to download even though i have the means to do so.
They are a bunch of cool ppl, and i wanna support them.
Guess i'll have to wait till i get my pay.
But wait! i dun think i can get it even if i get my pay.
need to pay DH and Jx for the Presents for HL and Nel.
I think it's time i let them know i dun wanna share present next time.
As for me, i'm not gonna celebrate my birthdae, no money to celebrate.
And wat is there to celebrate anyway? Why can't celebration be just a walk down the beach, or watch tv together, or just sharing a cone of ice-cream?
Does it have to presents and treats, Movies and popcorns?
Birthdays...
Haiz. When will i get to celebrate my born again day?

I dun wan flowers, toys, gold and silver.
All i wan for Birthday is to be baptise in front of my friends and family.

Jesus replied, "let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented. Matthew 3:15

Sad, Touching, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

2007-07-16T11:11:00.000+08:00

Okay, went home straight after churching.
met Roy on the way to mrt, chatted all the way to yishun.
kind of guilty cause sort of being a gooseberry [his girlfriend was ard].
always, reached home, watch tv.
chance upon Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
very touching situation, almost cried.[being emo]
show ended half way without conclusion, gonna try to catch it next week.
God Bless the Family.

But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-control. Against such things there is no law. galatians 5:22-23

-scribbles.EL-

Isomia...

2007-07-14T05:35:00.000+08:00

Ookay, i have really bad sense in spelling.
It's 5.30am in the morning and i still can't sleep after laying in my bed for the pass 2-3 hrs.
wat could be worst?
Well, i'm having a continuous nose bleed for the pass 2 days...
only realised that now...
Mayb i should really see a doctor..
hai, need to spend money again..
due to the fact tat my nose is mucusing, so the blood is mixed in the mucus, and having a bad habit of the inward relife of the mucus instead of the more hygenic way of outward release of mucus, i wouldn't hav know tat my nose is bleeding till i blow it...
so i guess that i'm suffering from lack of blood...
too heaty, mayb..
or mayb i see too many pretty grannys. LOL
at this point of time i still can make fun of myself shows tat i'm still ok. mayb.
i used to think green flam and orange mucus was scary enough, until now.
red is the worst..
not many ppl had green flam, i think...
seriously, who ever hav though that ur windpipe can produce GREEN COLOUR STICKY FLUIDS!!!
and Orange Mucus... must be the normal yellow 1s mixed with blood...
if not, i think i need to see a specialist or a vet.
Mayb need to be refered to a NASA personnel...

i'm not overworked.. just underpaid.

-scribbles.EL-

So Broke.

2007-07-14T03:04:00.001+08:00

So i went to check my bank account today after topping up ez-link card.
left $1.56.
in wallet now, $20.
days till next pay day, 17.
estimated time of total finance depletion, 10 days.
estimate time and amount of finance back up, 2 days $25.
[that means ppl return me money]
estimated time of total financal collapse after financal backup, 3 days.

the above information is true.
based on the total amount of availiable cash i can touch, which includes every single dime in my piggy bank i hav $75, including the backup.
based on $1.2 per trip for an adult travel, at least $2.4 per day.
[Note the AT LEAST!!!]
i travel every for work and work and still work, adds to 17x2.4 = $40.8.
$75-$40.8 = $34.2
base on single simple meal without drink per day, 2.5 per day.
estimated minimum working days left till pay day, 10.
total expendeture for food necessity, 10x$2.5 = $25.
$34.2 - $25 = $9.2
[Note that its based on minimum working days and 1 meal per day.]
therefore, if i din get my financal backup, i'll only have $9.5 for the rest of the working days for my meals, which will last me at most 3 days.
[provided i dun travel more than 2 trips a day, which is highly impossible.]

base on supersaver and surviour mode:
meals can be replaced by eating grass or wind, due to the zero costing and doesn't require to pay GST, rent, tax and service charges.
alternatively, i can still spend $2.2 on a "5 pack" instant cooking noodles and eat raw at work. $2.20 can last for 5 working days if i can bear with the hunger.
that way $9.2 can last for 20 working days.
[do not try the above mentioned methods - i'm sick of instant noodles...]

did i mention tat the bills have arrived and i need to start paying the poly sch fees of $100+ per month?

Arh, i'll find a way.
God will show me the way to solve my problems.
=)

-scribbles.EL-

Oral Exam cleared. LC is next.

2007-07-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

So today is my oral exam for O-lvls.
The exam centre happens to be my ex-secondary sch.
well, lots hav changed since i last visited the place.
anyways, wanted to "shun bian" visit my beloved teachers but sadly they were having a meeting then.
Nvm, i'll say hey the next time i drop-by again.

Does history repeats or is it a line extending forward?
If it's a Circle, should we break free or resign ourselves to our fate?

-scribbles.EL-

Turn Left, Turn Right.

2007-07-11T03:00:00.000+08:00

So, as the title says, it's related to the movie.
I met this girl at work, in toyrus, and we din't really talk to each other, cause i'm just too freaking SHY!
Kk, so as i was saying, we had to do inventory today, and we in the same team.
Okay, so no big deal abt that, but I'm happy and i dunno y.
Though out the whole stock taking, we din't really talked.
Until we were going to leave, as we split up to shared cabby bak, i realised that we both lived in Yishun, and wat's more shocking is that we lived on the same street.
If that's not shocking enough, guess wat...
We live in the same BLOCK!

Both of us were in shock.
she couldn't believe that we have been neighbours for the past 17-20 years and we din't even met once.
Due to the structure of our flat, we can actually see each other's kitchen windows, but it's imposible to chat or communicate, cause we'll need to shout like loud obnoxious brats to accomplish that.

Kk, gotta sleep, got oral exam coming up.

-scribbles.EL-

Why Study? What went wrong with our education system?

2007-07-06T02:41:00.000+08:00

The news today says something abt Singapore's prospect and the "improving" economy.
I do agree that Singapore has very gd standard in "education" as in knowledge wise, but working in Toyrus let me see something else as well.
Even though singapore continues to advance in education, science, technology, economy and blah blah blah... it seems to me that most WELL EDUCATED HUMAN BEINGS in Singapore are not far off from barbarians. A simple common sense such as "putting back an item after looking at it" doesn't seems to exist in the Complex brain of these "WELL EDUCATED HUMAN BEINGS". For an example, Man A finds Item X interesting and picks it up at Shelf A. Holding on to it, he moves on to Shelf B, which is abt 10m away, and finds Item Y more interesting, thus leaving Item A at Shelf B. Den, upon reaching Shelf C, Man A once again found something that he "might" wanna buy, Item Z, and leaves Item Y on the FLOOR. As he approaches the cashier, he decides that he doesn't want anything in the end, leaving Item Z at the cashier and left for home.
ok, Being a floor crew, i need to do something call "re-shop", which means to go ard the shop and collect any "misplaced" toys and placing them back to the original shelf. Toyrus has different "sections" eg: Boys and Girls.
Everyday, we'll find toys from Section A "migrated illegally" to Section B, and very often, they "travel" there by ships or 'sampans' called "Adult". Btw, sampans are small malay fishing boats. I dun mind doing all the reshop and stuff, but still, i'm concerned of wat is becoming of our soceity and wat went wrong with our education system? Why is Singaporeans becoming so "barbaric"? izzit so hard to put the "unwanted" toys back to the shelves? or at least leave them at their original section or at the cashier.. It's not like we'r asking them to arrange the shelves to a prefect condition.

Food for thoughs: Is there something wrong with our education system? Or, are Singaporeans taking too much things for granted? Mayb we'r all being spoiled...
-scribbles.EL-

No.1!!!

2007-07-02T23:17:00.000+08:00

We had a BIG promotion at toyrus last fri and sat.
Buy 3 get 4th free. Any items.
A sales target was set for us from HQ, and a competetion was set among the other branches.
In short, we won even though we'r the smallest and the most unlikely store to win.
Congrats to all staff at united square toyrus.

-scribbles.EL-

It has been a while

2007-07-02T01:10:00.000+08:00

It have been quite sometime since i have blogged.
let's talk abt my recent experience at work..

Working in a toy store izzin easy, especially if ur a prefectionist.
Many will think that this job suits me, but the actual fact is, it's not.
i dun mind the long working hours, i dun mind standing for long hours and i like serving customers the best i can.
But this is not wat i wan. I wan to teach and that dream will soon become reality.

Working in Toyrus have its moments too.
there was once i was arranging the toys, a boy young little boy ard age of 5-6 was walking slowly, as if he's brousing through the massive varities of toys in the store. then i heard a man saying "where did u go?" in a very calm manner.
The boy turned ard and immedieatly ran into the man's arms, crying. His father asked him," where did u go?" in a comforting manner. the boy couldn't stop cry for some time. after a while, the father wanted to leave as the boy is going for a music lesson. the boy quietly held his father's hand and did a very surprizing action that made me giggled.
the boy very conviently wiped his nose on his daddy's shirt and all his dad said was," Oie, u very dirty leh.". the father wasn't angry, just a little annoyed. hahaha.
so wat have i insights hav i gained from this incident?
1st- boys 5 onwards won't show expression of lost and cry when they are really lost, they will just try to look for their parents themselves.
2nd- Being a parent, dun reproach a child when he's lost. He has alreadly gone through a round of terror and fear, so try to comfort him or her instead.
3rd- daddys are portable napkins. u can wipe anywhere.. =P

That's all for today.
-scribbles.EL-

Wat a day..

2007-06-19T22:08:00.000+08:00

let's see..
i woke up at 12pm.
went to AMK hub after a shower.
Went for a food hunt at Parklane after lunch with nicholas.
Went window shopping with nicholas at PS.
i bought 2 aroma oil, a wire netting for my room.
reached home at 7.30.
went online, fix up the wire netting
den franctically call up all the boys, with the help of ben, from 9.30pm onward to remind them of the rehearsel tml..
now i'm gonna start cleaning up my very horrific-ly messy room.

Oh, b4 i forget. Happy Birthday to Dhana. Best Wishes to u buddy.
Smiles always!

-scribbles.EL-

tired with some not so new ambitions

2007-06-16T13:55:00.000+08:00

Imagine..
a noticeboard, filled with trival infomations.
Like food reviews, book reviews, great shopping deals and locations.
Suggestions and ideas for birthday gifts and parties.
Grooming info.
kk, that's a little over board for a uniform group noticeboard..
hmm, need to tone down a little.
But i like the idea of the food review idea.
can recommend nice food to ppl.
i want to put up some tips on the health too, issues that students always want to know, but dunno where to find the info..
Oh, not forgeting our very own comic strip on our company..
cool rite.
i'm not gonna be the artist, hao yi will be drawing..
i'm only the story writer..
providing the script.

can't wait to make this a reality..
-scribbles.EL-

Real Rotten Person

2007-06-14T01:58:00.000+08:00

Watched the Apperentice on chn5 just now.
Real disgusted by one of the participants.
unsupportive, no initiative,very full of herself.
look down on other ppl and claiming that they are stupid!
claims to have gd leadership qualities and skills.
possesses dunno wat degree or honors or masters..
so wat if u have all these qualifications,
if ur attitude is lousy, unsupportive, always finding excuses for ur mistakes,
den all those qualification means nothing.

Mental note to self:
dun become such a person.

-scribbles.EL-

Living my Life.

2007-06-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

Very tired. got lots of things to do.
Ok, not so many things, but still tired.
lots of worries and plans on my mind.
need to fulfil them.
*Bleh.
Bought a new CD. "The Blessing".
Praises and Worship in Rock music gene.
Can't wait to get Seven Places new album, Glowing.
Gonna get my hands on their other 2 earier albums too.
need to save up now for these items.
Seriously broke and broken.
need to be thrifty, very thrifty.

-scribbles.EL-

Workin' on d minor details

2007-06-12T05:14:00.000+08:00

spent hours workin' on this blog.
New skin.
New Songs.
New objectives,
but the same old me.
Still the same emo, slackin', crappin' me.
Ok, there are some changes in the past few days.
As for wat changes, it's for me to know, for u to find out.
need some shut-eye b4 i go to work.

-scribbles-

1st encounter..

2007-06-07T23:38:00.000+08:00

Will i ever see u again?
Will i ever have a chance to know you name?
Will we cross our paths again?
When tat happens, will i have the courage to talk to u?
Will ur heart race like mine?

I don't have the answer rite now, cause only time will tell...

=Scribbles.EL=

AWW! It's "Bones" in a "Cold Case"!

2007-06-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered how a murder occurs?
Ever tried to understand their motives?
Watched "Cold case" on Chn5. Man, its gd.
Digging out Case files that was left unsolved for ages and finally solving them, bring the truth to light.
WOW..
some stories are touching, some are just plain gruesome.

Then was BONES.
The corpse is like "wow, did they really dug a grave for that prop?!"
The 1st time I watch this show and I have already fallen in love with it.

For ppl who are into crimes, cracking knotty problems, likes bickering partners and cheesy jokes with a bit of gruesome body parts, these shows might give your brain a zesty Tueday late night boost.

-scribbles.EL-

A series of unfortunate events @ work

2007-06-05T20:32:00.000+08:00

1st day of work and i was late for 30mins.
The manager was like real pissed off, showing the i'm the boss, you too low-status to talk to me. Then followed by a series of unfortunate events happened, which i dun intend to talk abt.
I bet the whole Toys'r'us staffs @ novena hates me now...
=(

In short, the price for being late @ work the 1st day = tough time @ work for the rest of the day and $12.30 [cab fare].

hope thursday will be better.. *sign*

=Scribbles.EL=

Wat is Sucess?

2007-05-30T23:28:00.001+08:00

Read Kw's Blog for the 1st time.
Great job i must say.
Impressed, proud of him.
At the same time feeling very depressed.
People ard me seems to see life deeper than i do,
that wisdom... so envious to see others possess it, and yet sends a wave of terror in me.

why do i feel this way?
i really dun like it..
a under acheiver..
very fustrated.

What is Life?
How can i be Sucessful?
Wat is success?
What is considered successful?
people alway say.. money izzit everything. being rich duzin mean ur successful.
people say: Being contented, is successful.
people say: Success is a personal concept kind of thingy.
but up till now, the society only take success = money/wealth.

Once, during a conversation with a friend, he mentioned that he dun think i can "make it"..
so the main point is: Wat is defined as "make it"?

somehow this tot also brings me to another question.
What is friend?
Are my boys my friends?
Are my army campmates my friends?
Are my schl mates my friends?
Why are some people say that: to build a good relationship with ur child, u have to be their friends 1st.
So wat is defined as a friend?
if a friend is somebody who u shares ur joy and sadness, den what abt those backstabbers/betrayers.
a friend wan something from u, so does a backstabber.
both people have a similiar motive, so can we term both people as friends?
can a friendship be single sided?

What are the answers to these questions? Who can really justify these answers?
Even if Justified, but by wat/who's standard?
how do we know if that person's standard is correct?

-scribbles-

Exams, Work, BB Projects, Personal Projects and Bloggings.

2007-05-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

Many things to look into.
The various projects and tasks that i need to fulfil.
Suddenly i question myself," Why do i do all these things?"
I'm lost.
I've lost my passion for Christ.
I'm confused.
I need help.
Where and Who can help me?
I no longer love my family..
Why?
Why izzit there any feeling anymore?
What's left behind is a feeling of emptiness.
Can't be bothered.
Tired.

Mayb i'm escaping.
Mayb I am.

-scribbles.EL-