3 months working in Christ Church Sec, haven really know all the teachers yet and i meant names.
Work isn't smooth at all.
All attention being given to students and teachers and lack of time for myself, my brother, my family, my beloved Boys and most importantly God.
Drifting further away from the peace that He promised.
Moving further away from the light.
Straying away from his way.
There is a need to reject people, It's time I'm stop being "customer" oriented.
It's time to learn.
Time to fight for my rights.
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
Sunday, 25 May 2008
Depression hits again?
Yes, it's been long since i blogged.
The on a trip to batam yesterday with the teachers of Christ Church Secondary School.
1st: God arranged the events in such that there is no parade for the 51st and i can go on the trip in peace.
2nd: the trip was delayed and the Go-cart was canceled, and thus i saved some money.
3rd: God sent rain and the boring culture dance performance was canceled as well.
4th: There was nothing to buy from the Batam shopping mall. Saved money.
5th: The whole trip made me realized 1 thing, no matter how much I try to be nice and put on a smile, there will still be "people" who dun smile at you. These people can only be addressed as colleagues and nothing else.
Andy asked me if i'm attending church, and commented that i should be able to find a girlfriend in church ground. I understand what he meant.
He was shocked to hear that the church does not have cell-group or similar grouping system like that to bring people of the same age group together.
Unhappy tots clouds my mind and my whole world starts to collapse.
Suddenly I feel so left out and alone.
Grieves and regrets swarmed in my heart.
Where has the friendly and helpful wei lin gone? [my chinese name, used when I was in my primary sch years]
What happened to the energetic and garang Billy? [ the christian name chose to I gave myself due to many reasons]
Isn't Elkan suppose to devote himself to God and follow closely in Him Way? [the Hebrew name that I gave myself to symbolize the new me in Christ. It meant Belonging to God]
Shouldn't be grieving over not being born into a Christian family.
Shouldn't be grieving over not attending Sunday School as a child.
Shouldn't be grieving over not being able to mix with the people in church.
I know I shouldn't be, but I am.
I dun have friends, it seems...
Family seems so cold and meaning less.
Home is like a word in the dictionary that I can hardly apply in my daily life.
everything just seems to be spiralling down the drain..
Everything seems so heavy.
even watching anime is so boring and a chore.
What's worse is tat seeing others excel, it seems like there is no hope in my future.
I'm lagging behind and i can't catch up.
I couldn't breath...
The on a trip to batam yesterday with the teachers of Christ Church Secondary School.
1st: God arranged the events in such that there is no parade for the 51st and i can go on the trip in peace.
2nd: the trip was delayed and the Go-cart was canceled, and thus i saved some money.
3rd: God sent rain and the boring culture dance performance was canceled as well.
4th: There was nothing to buy from the Batam shopping mall. Saved money.
5th: The whole trip made me realized 1 thing, no matter how much I try to be nice and put on a smile, there will still be "people" who dun smile at you. These people can only be addressed as colleagues and nothing else.
Andy asked me if i'm attending church, and commented that i should be able to find a girlfriend in church ground. I understand what he meant.
He was shocked to hear that the church does not have cell-group or similar grouping system like that to bring people of the same age group together.
Unhappy tots clouds my mind and my whole world starts to collapse.
Suddenly I feel so left out and alone.
Grieves and regrets swarmed in my heart.
Where has the friendly and helpful wei lin gone? [my chinese name, used when I was in my primary sch years]
What happened to the energetic and garang Billy? [ the christian name chose to I gave myself due to many reasons]
Isn't Elkan suppose to devote himself to God and follow closely in Him Way? [the Hebrew name that I gave myself to symbolize the new me in Christ. It meant Belonging to God]
Shouldn't be grieving over not being born into a Christian family.
Shouldn't be grieving over not attending Sunday School as a child.
Shouldn't be grieving over not being able to mix with the people in church.
I know I shouldn't be, but I am.
I dun have friends, it seems...
Family seems so cold and meaning less.
Home is like a word in the dictionary that I can hardly apply in my daily life.
everything just seems to be spiralling down the drain..
Everything seems so heavy.
even watching anime is so boring and a chore.
What's worse is tat seeing others excel, it seems like there is no hope in my future.
I'm lagging behind and i can't catch up.
I couldn't breath...
Monday, 5 May 2008
It's been long...
It's been long since i have properly blogged. taking this chance to post an entry while I'm preparing to teach and bring the blogging culture to my residential school, Christ Church Secondary in Woodlands...
It's 2 months since i'm here. coming to a term soon, students here can be quite irritating and annoying and has total disregards for the teachers. What's happening to our society? What's becoming of the students nowadays.
Students talk back, shout and verbally abuse the teachers.
Gone are the times when teachers walk in and students will greet the teachers at the class monitor's command.
Gone are the time when the students stop and greet the teachers as they approach.
Gone are the time when the teacher can concentrate on teaching the students while they pay attention to the elders teach and explain.
So what happened?
Teachers have to "wrestle" with managing the students and control the noise level.
Teachers are also put at risk of being sued for abuse and "blacklisted" if they ever do physically "touch" the students.
Are the younger generation too protected?
Are they too "spoilt" by the government and their family?
Too deep an issue to discuss
Too wide an issue to put a conclusion
Many factors involved
Many parties affected
Time to get going
Lots of work to do
Lots of tasks to think about
Plenty to follow up
In a Love Hate relationship with my job
Fin~
It's 2 months since i'm here. coming to a term soon, students here can be quite irritating and annoying and has total disregards for the teachers. What's happening to our society? What's becoming of the students nowadays.
Students talk back, shout and verbally abuse the teachers.
Gone are the times when teachers walk in and students will greet the teachers at the class monitor's command.
Gone are the time when the students stop and greet the teachers as they approach.
Gone are the time when the teacher can concentrate on teaching the students while they pay attention to the elders teach and explain.
So what happened?
Teachers have to "wrestle" with managing the students and control the noise level.
Teachers are also put at risk of being sued for abuse and "blacklisted" if they ever do physically "touch" the students.
Are the younger generation too protected?
Are they too "spoilt" by the government and their family?
Too deep an issue to discuss
Too wide an issue to put a conclusion
Many factors involved
Many parties affected
Time to get going
Lots of work to do
Lots of tasks to think about
Plenty to follow up
In a Love Hate relationship with my job
Fin~
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