Bak from Camp

Came bak from camp yesterday.
din enjoy the camp.
as usual, became the man behind the scene taking photos of others enjoying.
came bak and wrote a letter of resignation to the officers.
yes, I'm leaving 51st.
for a few months, for a few years or for good, I do not know.
All i know is that all this is part of God's plan.
It was part of God's plan that I torn apart my relationship with my brother.
Torn apart seems to strong a word, more like a suspension or stand still.
Until we can stand together and be comfortable in each other's presence in whatever situation, can we really call each other brothers.
I saw it coming, visually.
Seems like a joke for God, but it's not.
It's a wake up call.
Not for him, but for me.
Slowly, it has come clear to me that my spiritual gift might be premonition.
It's painful. Very painful.
as if my heart is bleeding.
I miss all the hugs and gd nite.
I miss "Nite bro. *hug", "take care", "morning bro. *hug" and "*poke".
one nite, and it hurts so much already.

This is happening because I rely on you too much.
~fin