New monitor

It's been long since I blogged.
was working on lots of things lately.
Students, tuition, projects, competition and counselling.
so life is like really packed for me..
getting a long real fine with the teachers quite well.
so are rather close, while the others are just fine.
I think one of the teachers, dun really like me.
Mayb i'm too close to the other female teachers...
Haiz.. can't really please everyone...
mayb i should just stay away from all of them.

anyway, i just gt a 22" LCD monitor for myself.
It's real BIG i tell u.
and very bright too.. kinda glaring.

Well, over and out for now.

the only pleasent thing that i encounter today is to see that a student actually downloaded my artwork from the internet and used it as his hp wallpaper.
Now that's really being honored.

lousy day in school

was like so totally late for school today.
there was like an whole army of kids queuing for 901.
I'm like almost fainted. Well, i took it easy, God's Word kept me company.
Reached school just when it started to rain, really have to thank God for keeping the raining from raiding on me.
Well, lessons aren't that bad. only the computers are getting on my nerves.
Imagine that my photoshop hangs halfway while i'm teaching. I had to like restart my com and load the whole program and stuff.
Good thing God was with me, Praise to Him for helping me through the lesson.
Teaching without visual for a few minutes. I tell you, those few minutes were long.
Then finally it's over. went to buy lunch, happy happy go buy some toileties while waiting for my fried rice, den a teacher called.
Well, she just wanted me to help set up the VGA cable in one of the labs for a english course.
Well, it gets better.. I pick up my food, head back to school, and as i reach the my office and put down my food, i gotta go open another lab so that the NE teacher can go in and prepare for the NE lesson.
So i went to open the lab, den went to set up the cable and stuff, and when i'm done, i need to pick up a postit sample and go for NE lesson duty.
By the time i have time to grab a bite from my Lunch, which by the way have been sitting there for 2 hrs, is cold...
How horrible can a day get?
Well, at least now I'm at home.
Praise the Lord my Father, who blessed my with a day so busy and fun. at least, i did something...
Amen.

Step by step we get closer

finished my run just in time for CSI.
darn, I really need to improve my leg's strength and stamina.
I want the power to run again and to do that, the only way is to train and keep running.
It's just there and all i have to do is to keep running.

The goals that we have, likewise, we need to keep running towards them to reach them. but of course, we also have to commit our goals and desires to the Lord our Father.

Life of a teacher

1st day in my life, i finally felt like a teacher.
Lessons all the way till 1240, den solved a few computer problem [real minor ones], den do some mudane form making, submit notes for printing and end of story.
ok, that's pretty much like a teacher except for the problem solving part.

Lesson wise... boring..
the sec 1s are very manageable, and so are the sec 3s, except for 3E1.
really a turn off when teaching them.
show no interest, needless to say, respect.
seriously, for those who aren't interested, pls leave or at the very least, keep quite. There's people in the class who wants to learn.
Pls, unless ur more pro than me, u better shuddup man.
anyway, they aren't anyhing to be stressed about, so I'm chilling.

Maybe gonna go for a run. Haven done that properly for a very long time.
Never had to really practice. Speed was alway part of me, but I want more.
I want stamina, endurance, the ability to sprint for long distance.
that power... I want.

Starting to pick up guitar on my own.
learning slowly.
ok, not so slowly...
kinda rushing to pick up at least a new song.
Maybe can ask Amos for the chords. Maybe.
Gonna pick up so i can play in worship, fellowship or any kind of ships.
not gonna lose to some brats that i know of. Mhuahhaha.

Friend that loved more than a brother and women

In 1 Samuel, the bible told and shown me how much Jonathan and David loved each other.
The love of 2 righteous men, their love was pure and holy to each other.
In the days of the past, whatever King commanded, it was absolute. Yet, Jonathan took the risk of seriously upsetting his father, Saul the king of Israel, and help David escaped.
When they parted, I believed it was very painful. Surely, they must have longed to spend more time with each other, surely they must have hope that they will one day meet again.
When Jonathan died, David mourned and sang,

"I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women."
- 2 Samuel 1:26

Will I be able to speak of such love for you, my little brother?
Will I be able hear you call me brother ever again?
I hope I will. I hope we will have a chance to fellowship in the Lord again.
I hope that you be able to read this and share the same thought as well.
Leaving it to God our Father.

May the Lord's Peace be with you who read this post.

sorrow came knocking on my door

It's youth day.
school izzin open.
woke up at 12pm. It's been long since the last time i did tat.
many things on my mind. many things undone.
did a bit of things here and a bit of things there.
nothing was completed.
need to focus.
Need joy.
want to search for it.
but dunno where to find it.
Got my PDL.
Something is draining away my life.
what is it?
grief? sorrow? I do not know.
how do i leave it to God?
I do not know.
Going through shit?
I think so.
Mayb i'm going mad.
Mayb i am.

Looking for Joy

Many a times i screw up God's wonderful work and His maverlous plan.
Too many confusing thoughts and the devil and his demons are working hard, whispering doubts and lies into my heart.
Need to focus.
Need to let go.
Need to love God.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind and all your strenght.
I have to learn.
To love God before anybody.

no more hugs, no more gd mornings, more gd nites.
Suddenly you are so cold.
it's not your fault.
Only mine to blame.

Have i become too attached to you?
Have i grown to dependent on your company?
Maybe i have, that's why i'm feeling like that.
do you feel the same as i am?
or do you have better things to do?
Maybe you do, that's why you seem like so.

Who can i share my feelings with, only those who read my blog i guess.
Who can i really confine and find comfort?
In God I trust.
He tells me," Billy, if u wan to embrace the one you love again, you need to let go your ties."
"Follow me and you will find your loved ones again."
My Lord calls for me to abandon my life.
It's a painful decision and I do not know what will become of us.
But Jesus has to come 1st in my life.
Jesus has to take control.

Bak from Camp

Came bak from camp yesterday.
din enjoy the camp.
as usual, became the man behind the scene taking photos of others enjoying.
came bak and wrote a letter of resignation to the officers.
yes, I'm leaving 51st.
for a few months, for a few years or for good, I do not know.
All i know is that all this is part of God's plan.
It was part of God's plan that I torn apart my relationship with my brother.
Torn apart seems to strong a word, more like a suspension or stand still.
Until we can stand together and be comfortable in each other's presence in whatever situation, can we really call each other brothers.
I saw it coming, visually.
Seems like a joke for God, but it's not.
It's a wake up call.
Not for him, but for me.
Slowly, it has come clear to me that my spiritual gift might be premonition.
It's painful. Very painful.
as if my heart is bleeding.
I miss all the hugs and gd nite.
I miss "Nite bro. *hug", "take care", "morning bro. *hug" and "*poke".
one nite, and it hurts so much already.

This is happening because I rely on you too much.
~fin